The life of a book isn't easy, especially when people judge you by your cover (not every book can be adorned with sparkly unicorns!). And this narrator should know--it's the book itself, and it has a lot of opinions. It gets irritated when readers bend its pages back, and it finds authors quite annoying. But it does have a story to tell. Through witty direct address and charming illustrations, readers meet a book that has never been read, with a cover...

When Splat takes home his class project of fertilized chicken eggs, the eggs hatch and chicks wind up all over the place, forcing Splat to round them all up.

The Time Warp Trio find themselves in the middle of an adventure in prehistoric times, where cave art is a form of graffiti and "rock" music takes on a whole new meaning.

A fly flies into a concert hall wreaking havoc.

Even after attending obedience school, Emma's dog Toby misbehaves until she takes him back to become a "specially trained dog."

A dog who thinks her name is Down Girl goes on a car ride to the beach, goes camping in the woods, and reluctantly pays a visit to the vet with her master, Rruff.

A fanciful account of how two boys get cowlicks in their hair as they sleep.

Advice on how to manipulate your parents in order to avoid eating vegetables, extend your bedtime, or get a puppy.

Yo ho ho! Pete loves pirates, but his mom thinks they are rude and messy. Then Pete and his mom go to see the Amazing Marco, and Marco hypnotizes Pete's mom into thinking she's a pirate! Now Pete's mom won't behave. She chases the neighbors. She steals underwear off other people's clotheslines. She's even flying the Jolly Roger over the house. Pete has to find the Amazing Marco. He wants his real mom back!

Contemporary fables with tongue-in-cheek morals address such topics as homework, curfews, and television commercials.